Attraction vs Interest
I’ve heard people distinguish if someone is interested in you by their attraction towards you but this isn't the case! Yes, they can be attracted to you but that doesn't mean they are interested! This can happen for different reasons. Maybe they are attracted to your energy and just like to be around you but don’t want to be romantically involved with you. Maybe they are simply attracted to you like they are with many others and simply have you there to give them an ego boost, but have no true intentions with you. When someone is interested, it’s very clear, but we must not confuse attraction to being interested.
Someone that makes the effort to go on a date with you is interested. They will go out of their way to see you and spend time with you, regardless of their schedule. I will include, that their effort in trying to add value in the relationship is equal to yours. This is all an indicator they are interested!
2. Flirting & Attention
Anyone can flirt with someone. If you notice they flirt with you, this can simply be that they like the attention you give them for it. This doesn’t mean they are genuinely interested, even though someone that is interested will flirt, this isn’t a determining factor.
3. Define the relationship
They want to know where you both stand and where you’re going together. This is an obvious indicator, if this isn’t where you are at with the person, they are simply attracted to you and not interested.
You are going to have great chemistry with many. You can even have great chemistry with friends. Just because you have great chemistry, this isn’t a guarantee that they are really interested in you.
5. Hang out vs Dates
When you spend time with them, it needs to be clear that you are on a date and not just simply hanging out. Someone that is truly interested will want to go on a date with you and make it clear that it's a date. Someone who is simply attracted to you, won’t want to make the commitment and investment, so they will ask you to simply hang out with them.
6. Mixed Signals
A person that really is interested won’t give you mixed signals. If you are feeling like you take steps forward and then steps back, they are not interested in you. Someone that isn't interested won’t care to have clear intentions with you, hence the mixed signals.
7. They want to REALLY get to know you
Someone that is interested asks intentional questions to see if you are a great match. They will want to know what is important to you, they want to know your family background, they want to know your views on romantic relationships, they want to know where you are going in life etc. They are interested!
Ask yourself, is there an equal response? If you always flirt with that person, open up to that person, and want to talk to that person but that person doesn’t give that interest back, they are NOT interested. There needs to be clear reciprocation on both ends.
Is the investment consistent? Meaning, you have consistent communication and consistent dates. So this doesn’t mean you go on a date every once in a while and then they show up whenever they feel like having time for you. This doesn’t mean you hang out often either, remember a date is different to hanging out. If this investment is consistent, they are interested!
Just because you are affectionate, doesn't necessarily mean they are genuinely interested. Although someone that is interested will show affection, this shouldn’t be your determining factor that they are interested.
Please be aware of the differences and make wise choices!
If you have questions on any specifics, please comment and I will answer back. If you have any questions regarding something else, please email me and I will respond!