These words make some women cringe and there’s been talk among men on social media demanding this in a woman. I wonder if we’ve gotten these two words confused.
FEMININITY & MASCULINITY
To better understand this, let’s talk a little bit about this energy force. Yes, I call them an energy force because you can’t have a force without the two. To have one by itself is to not partake in its potential energy exchange. Yes, you can have this exchange with others in different parts of your life but I mean specifically in romantic relationships. Oftentimes we view masculinity as the front lead and femininity as the back lead. Both lead but in different moments of the reciprocation process. Masculinity is known to initiate the lead of direction and femininity known to be in tune with its ability to nurture the energy it’s been given in order to send back in which then the exchange continues. Yes, I’m being very broad because this can easily be it’s own blog but nonetheless masculinity needs a form of submission from the feminine energy to enter in this exchange. So where does it get cringey?
Let’s not get too caught in history but it’s no secret that it got to a point where the view of femininity became jaded. There was a feminine-movement for women’s rights (not to say only women can possess femininity) but this happened because villages turned into a civilization where providing financial stability was held superior over tending to a home. This gave the illusion that being feminine meant you glorified the masculine energy. Soon, instead of a force of energy, it turned more into a funnel where the masculine energy was at the top and feminine energy at the bottom. Everything passed by the masculine and the expectation was for feminines to follow without any input of their strength of wisdom to give back and create the exchange. The definition of passive is to allow what happens without any response or resistance. In other words blocking the potential of what femininity can bring to the exchange. In a partnership, asking one to be passive is to not value the insight they may bring to add to the relationship. The thought of being expected to be passive brings fear to feminines. Now, we must be wondering, “How does a feminine submit then?!”
Female friends of mine often give me a weird look when I say that I have no problem with the idea of submission. You see, I respect the role of masculines because it is a sacrificial role to be the front lead. You must be selfless, earn respect, be trustworthy and be on your A-game to gain the honor of having a feminine submit to your lead. I often go back to the scene in the movie Avatar II where they are selecting a dragon to partner up and fly the skies with. In the movie, if you had a dragon, this was a huge honor and the tribe respected you. These dragons were known to be powerful and the tribe knew it so they began this ritual to show the dragons they are worthy to lead them in hopes they would submit to their lead. Now, in the movie they tussle and fight with the dragon but it doesn’t have to be this way, don’t take it literally just take away the moral of submission. Submission is a choice feminines make because they see that the masculine’s actions are in the benefit of the force rather than its own. They submit to the lead the masculine provides, not specifically the person itself but the lead they provide, there’s a fine difference. True-feminine’s carefully observe if the masculine has shown discipline, self-control, integrity and in addition, sincerity through their lifestyle choices and actions. A true-feminine doesn’t submit to just anyone’s lead, they observe and then make their choice. Submitting is a courtship on its own and it’s not in a masculine’s place to demand it.
MESSAGE FROM VICTORIA GOLD
Remember, when the masculine decides to serve selflessly and the feminine to submit selflessly… both doing it for the well-being of the force, the powerful exchange begins. Then, we will see why they say, “Behind a great man is a great woman”.
This life has its ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like everything is aligning in a way that is beyond perfect, then we experience moments of disappointment and maybe humiliation. It’s in those lows that we experience this heavy pressure of grief and when I see people in that place it pains me. I fear that we will allow these moments to make us bitter and cynical because we don’t know how to process pain with intention.
LET GO OF THE EGO
In moments of grief, we want to fluff our ego and numb our emotions with pride. We exchange sadness for anger and we begin to let social media influence us with ideas like, “I didn’t need them anyway!”. All of that is the ego trying to create the illusion that we are superior to the pain and this blocks us from learning from it. I get it, it doesn’t feel good for an event or a person to affect us but the reality is, it did have an affect on us. It’s sad that we live in a time where we think our ego is our God, the place we go to in moments like these and we allow it to manipulate us. I know how addicting it can be to perform from the ego, it’s an adrenaline rush and it helps deflect pain but I can’t stress enough how destructive it is for us and to society to live this way. Pushing past the temptation of the ego’s coping mechanism to deflect will allow us to accept, learn and heal. Before you roll your eyes and stop reading, just hang in there. People say how crucial it is to heal but what does it really do and why should we do it?
Healing is the only way to preserve who we really are so that we hold integrity to ourselves. Healing allows us to mature and open our mind to new levels of understanding. As you’ve probably noticed, healing helps us to transform and with transformation we evolve into a higher caliber of being. We cannot truly level up by going to the gym, making money moves, or getting the next best thing. We must heal and to many this may sound useless but I say this because I was that person who couldn’t do it for so long. I was taught to just “put your head down and work!” and so I did. It got to a point where I was numb, the men I dated at that point often told me that it seemed like I didn’t have any emotions. I was in denial for a while until I noticed how my personality began to change and I didn't feel like myself.
To heal we must accept what affected us, why it affected us and acknowledge any insecurities that follow. I urge us to write all of it down so that we don’t dwell and so that we can visually see our thoughts. Once we write these very intimate thoughts down, allow emotion to rise but do it calmly. We can feel strong emotions in a calm state. Yes we can cry, and we can get upset but we do this calmly. After emotions leave our body, sit in silence or with soft instrumental music. The soul knows how to re-calibrate the body naturally, it will begin to pick your spirits up gently. It won’t come in the form of a rush, it will be gentle and we’ll feel the soul take the wheel back of our consciousness. It will begin to give us wisdom of our situation and we’ll feel renewed. This isn’t a one time thing and it’s done, sometimes this will happen in waves and it will be a repetition process but we must be patient. Remember that our integrity matters, our true-self is worth the effort. There will come a point where we feel a surge of inspiration to love the world harder because we learn that it’s valuable in this world we are living in. We must empathize before we criticize even if we were the one hurt. People need love more than revenge, we can still let go of people but we can let go with love as cheesy as that may sound. Letting them go with love is for the purpose of preserving our aura. We will realize that we will start to come back to ourselves and we will never go through pain the same again.
MESSAGE FROM VICTORIA GOLD
I hope that you trust in the process of going through pain as much as you may not want to feel discomfort. Relying on the ego will always be temporary and it will never satisfy. Instead, trust in your inner super-genius that I like to call, your soul.
Oprah Winfrey once said, “You’re either in flow or out of it…The flow is in proportion to the center of yourself where God and the universal energy abides”. The flow will feel peaceful despite the chaos that may or may not be happening in life. It’s when we are distracted that we go against the flow.
AGAINST THE FLOW
Going against the flow will happen from time to time but it’s our responsibility to assess and re-evaluate where we place our energy so that we can come back to the flow. Imagine a gentle stream and feel as though you are in it. All of a sudden you notice a rock and you decide to stop to hold on to it, what will happen? You can probably guess that the stream will go from feeling gentle to heavy because you have gone against it. This happens when we place our energy in something or someone that isn’t a part of the flow we are on. We try to figure out how we can make it work; how we can remain flowing while carrying the rock. I know it seems silly to think this would work but we don’t even realize that this is what we are doing in our actual life. We knew deep down we shouldn't have taken part in that extra project, gotten in that relationship or allowed temptation to control us but yet we did. Greed and fear make us feel that if we let go of that rock we will regret it.
LETTING GO OF THE ROCK
We must first have deep and profound curiosity about uncovering the rocks in our lives. Some of us get to a point where going against the flow feels so normal that we allow suffering to be a lifestyle. Anxiety becomes something we must deal with, meditation becomes an escape rather than a practice, and peace only happens when exterior sources give us the validation we secretly desire. Therefore, curiosity is where the process must begin so that we start to question our current reality. We all have an inkling about what these rocks are in our lives but we do a great job at convincing ourselves that we must keep placing our efforts in that place so that we “fight for what we want!”. Unfortunately, this gets misinterpreted far too often. If anything in life compromises our character, let it go. If holding onto someone means allowing disrespect, let them go. If a commitment in our life gets in the way of our health and drains us, let it go. Greed is when we choose to pursue something or someone even if it will cost the well being of others and our own. Doing something out of integrity and not honoring others will be catastrophic to our inner being in a way we can’t even grasp which affects our well being. Not letting go interferes with our purpose that lives within a bigger purpose.
FAITH IN THE PURPOSE
In our mind, we may understand purpose as this one assignment that must be done in our life. I myself have seen it this way but have come to evolve my definition of it. I believe purpose is being in the flow and in that flow we will meet people, complete assignments and evolve spiritually. In that flow, we aren't the main character, we are simply a part of a bigger purpose where others intersect that should’ve or else certain assignments wouldn’t have manifested into completion. Purpose is a Divine and Universal flow we are a part of. Having faith in the purpose is to stop resisting and to surrender to its will in our life. Knowing this truth in my core helps me realign and let go so that I can come back to the divine flow.
Message from Victoria GOLD
I hope that as you unfold with life, you remind yourself of the flow. As the days get heavy with responsibilities, don’t forget to practice stillness so that you can feel the flow and have peace in what it may ask you to leave behind. Peace and love be with you, remember I’m only a message away.