I know what you may be thinking, “Doesn’t jealousy and protectiveness mean the same thing?”. I want to challenge this by saying it DOES NOT mean the same thing.
Before we start, let's set the record straight, jealousy stems from being envious of someone or something. It grows from being in a state or scarcity and greed. Constantly doubting life’s generosity, as well as your abilities to attain and retain what is for you. Also, this is an indicator that you lack faith in what isn’t yours or what isn’t meant to stay in your life.
Do Not Confuse Jealousy With Trust Issues
Feeling suspicious over your partner is NOT jealousy, this stems from an insecurity issue over the trust of the relationship or trust of yourself. Either you have trust issues due to a past relationship and or your current relationship where you felt that you saw “signs” but you doubted yourself, hence not trusting yourself as a result of doubting your intuition. Every time you doubt your intuition, you grow mistrust towards yourself. Although this is not jealousy, if these insecurities go ignored, they can turn into jealousy.
When someone sees their partner talking to someone else and gets aggravated, is that jealousy? Let’s look deeper into this, if the person gets aggravated towards their partner, this shows that they are insecure about their partner and doubt their loyalty because of what they have experienced either with that partner or past relationships. This will transpire into controlling who their partner talks to and doesn't talk to which is best known as possessiveness. For those who get aggravated at the person who is talking to their partner, this could be an insecurity of self. Oftentimes they are the type of people who “don’t like to be lookin’ like a fool!”, in other words they are very ego driven and like to make it known to others in the room who they are with. They think if they do this, they will mark their territory and others will show fear by not talking to them, which to them means respect. Again, displaying a form of possessiveness. I want to make it clear that this is NOT a healthy reaction of habit to have, people are not possessions and if you or someone you know finds themselves here, please encourage seeking counseling from a life coach like myself or a therapist.
An instinct to protect our loved ones has been around for AGES! In our love life, we will often experience more of a protective nature if we best define ourselves as a masculine spirit. Their form of protection is to keep their loved ones away from risk of potential harm. Let me better describe this with a scenario, if they see their partners talking to someone else and they feel as though this person has ill intentions, they will become protective and make an effort to do something about it. Notice how they had reason to form a judgement on why they don’t feel comfortable with their partner being around that person, they didn’t just do it out of their own illusions and insecurities, it was solely to protect their partner. They will often feel this instinct in moments where they have thought ahead of all the risks, the “what could happen” and we must know that this is just part of nature.
Jealousy and possessiveness is a limitation to our vision which is needed to see the BIGGER picture. The bigger picture is designed to keep us focused on our journey to uncover our truest potential. There are different ways to heal but I will share with you some of my personal perspectives and experience.
Keep growing and keep healing, it’s a MUST.
Love, Victoria GOLD