We have access to instant stimulation through online shopping, online dating, interactions on social media and much more. This type of access gives us the ability to become almost hypnotized to the highs and lows of it’s doing. Has stimulation become the cornerstone of our interactions?
I like to describe stimulation as a spark of sensation created by something outside of ourselves. Dictionary.com defines it as, “the action of arousing interest, enthusiasm, or excitement”. If we notice closely, we can see that stimulation places us as the receiver of energy. At our fingertips we have access to stir up emotions we wish to feel in our bodies. Whether that is to affirm what we don’t like or validate what we want, we are merely a sponge experiencing the process of soaking up all this energy. Overtime we become familiar with the reactions it stirs in our bodies and because we like it, we stay in the current, like the turtles in Finding Nemo. In the events we find ourselves away from that current of stimulation, we feel an abrupt halt and we feel dazed like we are coming out of a trance. We feel this decrease of stimulation and we are tempted to swim back in the current. Stimulation provides this sense of comfort because we are creatures that believe if we are receiving energy, we are significant. I fear that stimulation has been replaced by our effort to truly connect. Are we getting stimulation and connection confused?
There is talk about having more than 5 senses but the basics are sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. A book I enjoy reading, “Essentials of Psychology”, mentions how our senses increase and decrease in tolerance. Once you have gotten used to a level of stimulation through one of your senses, it requires more of it to feel the same type of reaction. We are adaptive beings that can adjust our tolerance levels to mold into our environment and survive. This leads to a thought of how people can get lost in the cycle of dating multiple people for short periods at a time. I don’t mean getting to know people in order to find a potential match to date. I mean the quick turn around it takes for a person to break things off with someone they are dating to then dating someone new. The end of dating someone leads to a decrease of happy chemicals in our body therefore one is tempted to find stimulation through someone else. We may not realize that we tend to drive relationships through stimulation rather than connection. Our senses may be useful to point us in the direction of a potential connection but in order to connect, it requires people who are willing to engage in a way that many find unfamiliar.
Let's talk about intimacy. “In an intimate interaction, partners reveal their private selves to one another, sharing parts of themselves that are ordinarily hidden” Encyclopedia.com. Intimacy is an exchange of giving and receiving our depths to one another. Unlike stimulation, intimacy doesn’t just happen, it unfolds gracefully among people who are willing to serve. You can’t just be a sponge and soak up all the energy, you must be proactive in the process. Intimacy takes effort but not effort to where it’s forced, this effort naturally grows momentum through people that intuitively want to connect. I say intuitively to acknowledge this mystery that leads people to connect with others whether it is platonically or romantically. When we connect with others around us, we feel refreshed, inspired and our insight of life may even become elevated. We feel as though we were meant to connect with others because it is in our nature to do so. Stimulation does not require us to be present but in order for us to reach a connection we must be. When two or more givers come ready to serve one another, this creates intimacy and that is to truly connect.
MESSAGE FROM VICTORIA GOLD
I challenge us that in everything we do, we look for ways to be of service. When we create the opportunity to serve, we create opportunities to connect.
Peace & Love be with you all and remember, I'm only a message away.