This life has its ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like everything is aligning in a way that is beyond perfect, then we experience moments of disappointment and maybe humiliation. It’s in those lows that we experience this heavy pressure of grief and when I see people in that place it pains me. I fear that we will allow these moments to make us bitter and cynical because we don’t know how to process pain with intention.
LET GO OF THE EGO
In moments of grief, we want to fluff our ego and numb our emotions with pride. We exchange sadness for anger and we begin to let social media influence us with ideas like, “I didn’t need them anyway!”. All of that is the ego trying to create the illusion that we are superior to the pain and this blocks us from learning from it. I get it, it doesn’t feel good for an event or a person to affect us but the reality is, it did have an affect on us. It’s sad that we live in a time where we think our ego is our God, the place we go to in moments like these and we allow it to manipulate us. I know how addicting it can be to perform from the ego, it’s an adrenaline rush and it helps deflect pain but I can’t stress enough how destructive it is for us and to society to live this way. Pushing past the temptation of the ego’s coping mechanism to deflect will allow us to accept, learn and heal. Before you roll your eyes and stop reading, just hang in there. People say how crucial it is to heal but what does it really do and why should we do it?
Healing is the only way to preserve who we really are so that we hold integrity to ourselves. Healing allows us to mature and open our mind to new levels of understanding. As you’ve probably noticed, healing helps us to transform and with transformation we evolve into a higher caliber of being. We cannot truly level up by going to the gym, making money moves, or getting the next best thing. We must heal and to many this may sound useless but I say this because I was that person who couldn’t do it for so long. I was taught to just “put your head down and work!” and so I did. It got to a point where I was numb, the men I dated at that point often told me that it seemed like I didn’t have any emotions. I was in denial for a while until I noticed how my personality began to change and I didn't feel like myself.
To heal we must accept what affected us, why it affected us and acknowledge any insecurities that follow. I urge us to write all of it down so that we don’t dwell and so that we can visually see our thoughts. Once we write these very intimate thoughts down, allow emotion to rise but do it calmly. We can feel strong emotions in a calm state. Yes we can cry, and we can get upset but we do this calmly. After emotions leave our body, sit in silence or with soft instrumental music. The soul knows how to re-calibrate the body naturally, it will begin to pick your spirits up gently. It won’t come in the form of a rush, it will be gentle and we’ll feel the soul take the wheel back of our consciousness. It will begin to give us wisdom of our situation and we’ll feel renewed. This isn’t a one time thing and it’s done, sometimes this will happen in waves and it will be a repetition process but we must be patient. Remember that our integrity matters, our true-self is worth the effort. There will come a point where we feel a surge of inspiration to love the world harder because we learn that it’s valuable in this world we are living in. We must empathize before we criticize even if we were the one hurt. People need love more than revenge, we can still let go of people but we can let go with love as cheesy as that may sound. Letting them go with love is for the purpose of preserving our aura. We will realize that we will start to come back to ourselves and we will never go through pain the same again.
MESSAGE FROM VICTORIA GOLD
I hope that you trust in the process of going through pain as much as you may not want to feel discomfort. Relying on the ego will always be temporary and it will never satisfy. Instead, trust in your inner super-genius that I like to call, your soul.