WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMETHING AFFECTS YOU

Friends that have tried to comfort me have said, “don’t let people affect you”. This was always the hardest thing to do because people and situations in my life have affected me. I've felt ashamed for being weak and not doing what it seemed like many were doing; not letting people and situations affect them. What was I doing wrong?
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CHANGING MY RESPONSE
I’d soon come face to face with an experience that would again affect me. A friend said something that embarrassed me and I instantly began to tear up. He began to apologize and take back what was said. I couldn’t speak and I just sat there trying not to cry. Instead of suppressing how it affected me, I asked myself why it did and I knew exactly why it did. What he said to me was something I had already said to myself but to hear someone else acknowledging it, made it all more true. As he continued to feel sorry, my response wasn’t what he expected. I told him that he didn’t upset me, that the emotions had already existed because I said it to myself. That it wasn’t his fault that I was upset, that if I didn’t feel this way already, it wouldn’t have affected me this way. We got off the phone and I recognized I needed a moment of solitude to journal what I had learned by embracing the emotions that arose instead of neglecting them. As I wrote down my beginning thoughts, my attention was pulled to the tree outside my window and I understood. ​

THE TREE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW 
​As I watched this tree outside my window, I noticed the branches move to the wind, leaves covered with snow because of the weather and still, the tree remained grounded. It didn’t try to prove that it wasn’t affected nor try to create strategies to ignore the way it was clearly being affected, it just remained grounded. This magnificent tree remained still and it’s roots held on to what was important; the ground. It humbly embraced the changes of it’s environment and allowed itself to grow along with it. It uses the heat of the summer to recharge, the support of fall to prepare for winter and it confidently blooms in spring.  

QUESTIONS I CONSIDERED
Trees know that their growth is part of the effect. People will say things to us that affect our emotions about ourselves but how well do we stay grounded? How do we remain confident in the process of our growth? Where are our roots? In the ground, or in the opinions and moments that blow us like the wind? All these questions surfaced as I looked outside my window. My pen couldn’t keep up with the wisdom I was learning from my friend, The Tree. Now the real question is, what do we do in moments where we are affected?

WHAT TO DO
We must know what keeps our roots grounded, what our roots resemble and how to use them. Your roots symbolize your worth, values, actions, truth and your purpose. Always take time to recharge yourself by creating moments that empower your roots. A tree uses its leaves to transform the light of the sun to energy, then it let’s go of the leaves to survive winter. During these harsh winters, the roots release the food reserves it stored to fuel the tree so that it can produce what it needs for spring. The fuel needed during winter symbolizes the moments of solitude that will be required through self-talk, gratitude, grace, love and repeating empowering affirmations. When you are affected by people and situations in your life that resemble that of a winter, take time to reevaluate, recommit if you have to and refocus your attention to your roots in the ground. 

MY MESSAGE TO YOU
So long as you take time to reground your roots, you will be as strong as a tree during the harshest winters. You will grow humility like the tree and take responsibility for your times of instability. Through this, you will be reminded of the importance of growing your roots so that you remain grounded. 

Peace and love be with you!
Victoria GOLD