This is a question many of us have about the current generation. We all have our opinions on this and each opinion shares different angles on the matter. I thought I’d shed light on some of the popular opinions and some of my own I have observed but maybe haven’t heard others address yet.
I’ve heard people state the obvious that because of social-media, we have a much wider range of social-access. People meet online in addition to in person and this makes our generation seem more eager to see if the grass is greener on someone else’s yard. People are left “ghosted” or dumped when faced with problems because we can just connect with the next person. To be honest, I’ve heard this one the most.
More often than not, when you ask those who are in the ages of 18 to early twenties if they are looking for a serious relationship, the majority will respond with no. Many of us were told to work and focus on a career until we are well established to settle down and get married. We learn to be hard working on our studies and focus on our careers which leads me to think that this is why many of us don’t know how to turn this off when we start becoming available for a spouse or get married. Come to think of it, it seems like we hold careers at a higher level of importance as a society rather than a family-unit. Most people will gravitate towards what society prioritizes because they (the ego) wants to win in society.
I do think that the entertainment industry has a huge influence on this fear more than we even stop to think about but let’s dive into the actual life-experience of others. Many in this generation who are looking at the outside of marriage have a deep sense of fear. Divorce rates have increased over the years and because of this, there are adults who witnessed these divorces. Many are simply scared to repeat the past and are now more cautious than previous generations to get married. I can bet that there are some who suffered the impact of watching their parents get divorced and have lost faith in marriage all together. Then, we have those who were a part of a divorce and “lost” a lot of their financial success to another spouse that now speaks horribly of marriage to the younger generation. We are survival-beings that do our best to stay away from what scares us the most.
KNOWING THEMSELVES AND WHAT THEY WANT IN MARRIAGE
Prior generations were encouraged to marry as early as 18, my mom has told me that anyone who reached 25 in her generation were pressured and rushed into finding a spouse. I’d like to bring up a point that this generation has had the previledge in experiencing and that is that this generation that has waited longer to marry, have come to the realization that one knows themselves best past 25. Why is this and is there some truth? Studies have shown that a woman’s brain reaches full development at age 25 and a man’s brain from ages 25-30. Could it possibly be that people in this generation have in part had the opportunity to experience that it’s best to wait past this threshold without knowing that this is in fact the age that a brain fully develops? Psychology.com states that the sweet spot to marry is between ages 28-32. They add that those who marry past 25 are 50% less likely to divorce compared to those who marry at an earlier age such as 20.
MESSAGE FROM VICTORIA GOLD
We all can argue why it’s better to wait or why it’s better to rush to the altar at a young age. Regardless, we cannot close ourselves from the fact that each generation holds GOLDEN nuggets that benefit us and I think it would be wise for us to learn from them all.
3/24/2023 05:40:53 pm
Yeah, definitely an interesting topic. I suppose the reasons for waiting longer for marriage can vary, and I think you hit on all the major ones. (Career, fear, too many options, etc.) The study you referenced regarding divorce rates being lower for couples that married later is something that I would have guessed. I would say that in itself is a good thing of course!
3/27/2023 10:26:55 am
Let’s also not forget that statistics also show that those who have gone to college get divorced more than those who don’t (career driven? Maybe). Marriage is definitely a beautiful thing. Thank you for your insight!
3/27/2023 03:03:56 pm
I’d also like to add that if people decided to be and stay married, I’m sure that men would hold themselves a little more accountable to become their best-selves for their family. We may also have less incarcerations and less suicide rates on the male side. It’s important to look at both men and women outcomes especially if we speak on society as a whole 🙏🏼
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