It was like I kept going around in a loop. I was certain of every turn, move and memory but the truth is, I was lost in certainty. It’s like knowing where you are going and yet reaching a dead end. It was draining, yet why did I feel like I knew what I was doing? It’s as if “knowing” had become my curse, and knowing kept bringing me to the same place, a hopeless empty place.
It’s been said that we are creatures of habit and if this is true then we cling to patterns. When we do something and it works, what do we do? Do it again! We stick to what works and stay away from what doesn’t, treating life as a cycle. Always repeating patterns, repeating the mazes we are familiar with and recreating events in different dynamics of our life. Patterns are one of the ways we force something in our life. We must become aware that patterns can be self-destructive when expressing ourselves and fully living our life. Becoming free. We may have heard that “If we fight for our dreams, we will make it!”, then you apply it in your love life and can’t seem to stop fighting to make it work. First question I have for you is, what are the patterns you keep repeating in your love-life?
My Numbing-Normal Theory
According to Mayoclinic.com, "(PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it". Now lets look at the opposite end of the spectrum to that. Wrap your head around the fact that what is normal to you, isn’t normal to others. Just sit with that for a moment. Whatever you expose yourself to, becomes your new normal whether you like that reality or not. Have you ever seen a movie that doesn’t sit well with you? Makes you feel sick? Maybe it’s a movie about how adults abuse kids. If this isn’t familiar to you, you will most likely get a thought that says, “this isn’t normal”. Normal isn’t just a word, normal is like a calibrator in your brain that helps you detect change. When your reality becomes to shift with repeated exposure, our standards of normal recalibrate. If you are someone who has seen people fight, neglect their loved ones and mistreat people, that is “your normal''. So what happens? Your standards can recalibrate and although others try to tell you to get out of a destructive relationship, you might not because your mind has no reaction “big enough” to question the change of environment. If someone mistreats you or you become the one who mistreats others, you don’t stop to question it because it is “your normal”, hence The Normal-Numbing theory. So, how does this cause us to force love? We disconnect from our truth, we numb what doesn’t “feel right”, we neglect what drains us and we tell ourselves that feeling like this is normal.
I challenge you to question your normal.
Questioning your reality
If I were to ask you what peace feels like, how would you describe it?
I can describe it as being in harmony with myself, feeling aligned and fulfilled. Do you feel that way about your love-life? Are those your ideas about relationships? Peace comes when we submit to the knowing of what isn’t love and surrender to what is. Peace and love is effortless, it’s always there to obtain but we, the human-self, become distracted with ideas that make it hard to hold onto. It’s not hard to obtain, this is a false illusion. It is effortless and anything that compromises your peace over and over, isn’t in harmony with true love. Let me ask you, are you really suppose to fight for love? Or Are you forcing it?
Peace and love be with you!
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Love, Victoria GOLD