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We had another incredible Life Coach, Andy Bayon, join oujr podcast to talk about this topic!
Have you ever been guilty of petty mind games? “They waited 10 min. to text me so I will too!”, “Act like you don’t like them so they can like you more” or how about “Give them a taste of their own medicine!”. SMH! What’s the point of all of this?!
If you notice, the purpose of these petty mind games are to paint the illusion that you don’t care as much as you actually do. “But, Why?” Well, when we show that we care about something or someone, we feel that we are making it known it has an affect on us but guess what, it does! It is normal to be affected by life and people. What becomes harmful, is not knowing how to deal with disappointments, which leads to dwelling or suppressing them. Due to society’s propaganda on what makes us significant in a relationship, it trains our ego to put a mask on!
The ego is designed to judge danger in order to help you survive, but what happens if surviving in the wild isn’t necessary anymore? The ego will adapt and learn how to “survive” in whichever environment (society, culture, relationships, family etc). The ego forms judgement with what it has gained by experience, perspective and influence like, movies, music, society etc. If the majority say, “Don’t text right away”, guess what the ego will look out for? Not texting right away! If you even think about texting right away and it doesn’t turn out well for you, the ego will analyze this “not so good” feeling and judge how we got there, it will pull out that memory of when we heard someone say, “Don’t text right away!”. Then, the ego learns that when we follow these society “rules”, we stay ahead and we gain significance in society. The ego then switches its purpose from helping you survive to helping you gain significance. Masking how we really want to respond to situations and being discouraged by the ego.
CHECKING THE EGO
First, I must say that it is not easy, this journey will feel like a constant battle.
It’s going to take emotional-intamacy and self control. First, be transparent to yourself, be open about how you feel and why you are hurt. Intimacy is allowing yourself to be embarrassed by what you feel and allowing yourself to be shameful of what affects you without judgement. Self control will be needed to respond to how the conscious knows it should and not react to the ego’s temptation. Be compassionate with yourself through the process.
Please, don’t become discouraged. At times, I can feel my ego asking me to shut down certain parts of who I am in order to guard myself. I know this will only result in modifying who I am in this beautiful life where I am not destined to. I want to enjoy my life with no limitations. Surrender to how you truly feel at every moment and gracefully let go of what doesn’t serve you. This will slowly break the limitations your ego wants to place you in.
Peace and Love be with you.
Love, Victoria GOLD
It is normal to have baggage. You are not less worthy of love because of it. In fact, if you are living and breathing, you have acquired baggage. Therefore, I do not think the mystery is if you have baggage or not, but rather, how do you sort through it?
Do you know of people that have never been the same after a rough break up? Often, a broken heart can create baggage that was once never there, modifying how we live from that point on. We can best define disordered baggage as the poor perceptions we have engraved into our life's identity after a traumatic experience, big or small. The "what is and will be '' perspectives on love, family, self-image, etc. These limiting beliefs get in the way of sincerely being our most authentic self. Living in fear through the ego's judgment to keep you away from feeling hurt and insignificant. In this degree, when we allow our ego to take the wheel of our life, we obey any demand from it and modify who we are not to feel that way again.
A damaged ego can easily become a strong influence on our character if we aren’t sorting through the baggage. Your ego's job is to be certain you are surviving, and one of its strategies is always to set you in a position of significance. Constantly measuring your significance level in any situation by the perceptions and judgments it has collected thus far. To the ego, significance means being out of harm's way, determining you are in a status destined to survive. When you go through an event that makes you feel insignificant, the ego fights to regain significance, and if it’s placed in this position over and over, you may have one of two outcomes: 1. You will grow accustomed to it, which in other words, settle for less. 2. You will grow resentful, and significance won’t be enough; you will seek superiority. We do this unconsciously, to the point that it becomes a part of our behavior and soon our personality. If this happens unconsciously... you guessed it! We must become conscious of what is and has happened to be capable of sorting out the baggage.
SORTING THROUGH THE BAGGAGE
Take a moment and examine your perceptions, behavior, and beliefs; how have they got there? Discovering parts about you that you created at some point were never there are. As you question every thought, I encourage you to ask, "Does this embody the life I desire to live?". I suggest not answering with logic, but rather from your intuition, your inner compass. Feel every question, not by emotion but by spirit, and that can only come from being at a place of intense vulnerability, no walls up. This allows the soul's language to influence your spirit's vibration onto your physical vibration, where it will then be felt through your senses and communicated to the mind. It's time to take a moment of silence to question every perception, accept what comes forth, and challenge your every answer.
Peace and Love be with you always.
-Love, Victoria GOLD
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
As we embark in the new year, we are reminded of all the wonders. The troubles that challenged our character, the heartbreaks that shook us, and the light that lit up every dark corner of our life.
This year was extremely unforeseen for the whole world. You know what they say, “True character is revealed in the face of adversity,” this was true for all as a whole. Showing us time and time again where humanity excelled and where it fell short; amplifying the world’s true colors for us to experience firsthand. There were magical moments in how society came together to help a world cause, and there were disappointments this year that also needed to be seen. We must never forget that these colors could change at any moment and that every life holds responsibility for every tone. What tone will your life contribute to this year?
(Take a moment of silence before answering each)
1. How many lives were you transparent with in order to build deeper connections?
2. What have you observed about where humanity is at this moment?
3. What needs do you think are critical for the world?
4. How many people did you serve? (Enough, not enough? Why?)
5. What behaviors and habits did you adopt last year that you are not proud of and how will you improve them this year?
6. What were you in search for this year?
7. What do you need to heal from in order to evolve in this new year?
8. What temptation will you work on overcoming?
9. What does life want you to give more of in this new year?
10. How will your talents and gifts contribute to the world this year?