We get out of work, or we come back from an errand and we realize we have extra time before the next thing, what should we do? Our mind has the tendency to pull us into autopilot and go in our phones or T.V. We shut off for those extra 30 minutes or hour while we wait. This leads me to the question, "Are we treating our free-time lightly? Could that time actually mean something?"
Yesterday I got out of work feeling a little drained over all the moving parts which required me to pull my attention to different tasks. I felt like doing what I had been doing that week; turn on the T.V. and watch something that could stimulate my mind for me. Deep down I knew I shouldn’t and so although I could observe this desire to do nothing, I chose to place my energy on setting a nice ambiance for a little reading time. I turned on some classical-music which I call my “focus music”, I grabbed a cozy blanket along with my journal and an inspiring book. Only two minutes had passed and I could feel my mind wanting to stop and finish reading, so I didn’t.
I finished reading after 40 minutes and I could feel my mind saying, “FINALLY!” so I grabbed my journal and began to reflect on what I read. My pen began to write but I could feel the spirit of impatience come over me and I sensed that I was rushing myself. I took a deep breath and slowed down, this worked for a little but still I wanted deep down to be done. After writing for 10 minutes, I felt this voice inside of me, “Now we deserve TV time", so then I got up and sat myself down in front of a window to meditate for no specific reason. I could feel this huge urge to stop and do something that didn't require any effort.
I sat still in my chair and began with my breathing exercise which I often do when I am having trouble calming my energy. After a moment, my body surrendered to my direction. I focused on the center of my eyes and then down to my chest. I hadn't felt this before but there was tension in my chest, not the physical-kind but more of this feeling I get when I have anxiety or when I’m nervous. I sat silently without stirring thoughts to try and figure out why I felt it. I began to take bigger breaths and I started to imagine my chest opening up. I began to visualize energy near my chest flow and open up. Then, I began to cry!
Tears began to stream down my face as though I had been triggered by an event but I hadn’t! I chose not to analyze why I began to cry or better yet why I needed to cry and I just began to cry. After just 3 minutes, I started to think of loved ones that had passed years ago, I began to think about what I was grateful for and how I wanted to serve God better, all without forcing any of it. I needed this and I didn’t even know it, but my intuition did. I didn’t know that my intuition would show me these things in my mind during meditation and to be honest I still don’t know why but it helped the balance of my energy and in result, I sensed this realignment to my soul. As I finished my meditation, it dawned on me, "what if I would've treated my free-time as if it didn't have meaning? What if I just turned on the T.V. and turned my mind off? How much more time would I have postponed for this recalibration to happen?". After this gap of time was up, my sister honked her horn as she waited for me to hop in to the next activity. I smiled and thought, "That was free-time held purpose".
Message from Victoria GOLD
We all know that our time matters, but sometimes we lose sight of how much purpose we can choose to give and receive during our free-time. What purpose can come from 10 minutes or even an hour of our time with meaningful actions? I didn’t come into my free-time thinking, “I know something will come from my free-time”, instead I chose to do things that have meaning. It can be choosing to read or choosing to volunteer somewhere, maybe bake something for someone or even calling someone to encourage them. We don’t know how it will happen but I personally choose not to know and just be the conscious part that moves towards meaningful-actions. I am humbled to see how the seed of purpose blossoms and I hope you continue to plant some of it too.
LOVE, Victoria GOLD
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