Want to listen to the podcast instead?
We had another incredible Life Coach, Andy Bayon, join oujr podcast to talk about this topic!
Have you ever been guilty of petty mind games? “They waited 10 min. to text me so I will too!”, “Act like you don’t like them so they can like you more” or how about “Give them a taste of their own medicine!”. SMH! What’s the point of all of this?!
If you notice, the purpose of these petty mind games are to paint the illusion that you don’t care as much as you actually do. “But, Why?” Well, when we show that we care about something or someone, we feel that we are making it known it has an affect on us but guess what, it does! It is normal to be affected by life and people. What becomes harmful, is not knowing how to deal with disappointments, which leads to dwelling or suppressing them. Due to society’s propaganda on what makes us significant in a relationship, it trains our ego to put a mask on!
The ego is designed to judge danger in order to help you survive, but what happens if surviving in the wild isn’t necessary anymore? The ego will adapt and learn how to “survive” in whichever environment (society, culture, relationships, family etc). The ego forms judgement with what it has gained by experience, perspective and influence like, movies, music, society etc. If the majority say, “Don’t text right away”, guess what the ego will look out for? Not texting right away! If you even think about texting right away and it doesn’t turn out well for you, the ego will analyze this “not so good” feeling and judge how we got there, it will pull out that memory of when we heard someone say, “Don’t text right away!”. Then, the ego learns that when we follow these society “rules”, we stay ahead and we gain significance in society. The ego then switches its purpose from helping you survive to helping you gain significance. Masking how we really want to respond to situations and being discouraged by the ego.
CHECKING THE EGO
First, I must say that it is not easy, this journey will feel like a constant battle.
It’s going to take emotional-intamacy and self control. First, be transparent to yourself, be open about how you feel and why you are hurt. Intimacy is allowing yourself to be embarrassed by what you feel and allowing yourself to be shameful of what affects you without judgement. Self control will be needed to respond to how the conscious knows it should and not react to the ego’s temptation. Be compassionate with yourself through the process.
Please, don’t become discouraged. At times, I can feel my ego asking me to shut down certain parts of who I am in order to guard myself. I know this will only result in modifying who I am in this beautiful life where I am not destined to. I want to enjoy my life with no limitations. Surrender to how you truly feel at every moment and gracefully let go of what doesn’t serve you. This will slowly break the limitations your ego wants to place you in.
Peace and Love be with you.
Love, Victoria GOLD