Being friend zoned has turned into the new disease. No one wants to be friend zoned, everyone’s ego wants to be everyone’s type, isn’t that funny?
WHEN DO THEY DECIDE TO FRIENDZONE YOU?
Let’s consider the obvious and talk about what makes someone more attracted to us to be someone they’d date. The basics of romantic attraction is simple. If they feel good around you, they will be attracted to you, I call this chemistry. Second, if they find you physically attractive, they will have another motive to date you. Lastly, if they find you genuinely interesting, they will be more inclined to be around you because you stimulate their mind. All of these are the first initial sparks that trigger the primal thoughts of, “Date or Friend?”. In other words, if you don’t attract them in these initial sparks, you will most likely get friend zoned.
ARE YOU BEING TOO NICE?
People say that being nice gets you in the friend zone, but is that really what they mean? I believe it’s a lot deeper than that but at times we can’t articulate what turns us off about it so let me get to it. What really turns people off is that it seems forced. I have met people that are trying super hard to be nice but I can feel that it is not genuine at all. I can tell they just want me to like them and it worries me as to how they will be once I finally take an interest in them. I ask myself, “will they finally show their true colors afterwards?”. Then, there are others that are fully themselves and being themselves truly means that they are sweet, loving and caring. Immediately, I’ll have this sense of knowing that they are being true and they’re not doing it to just to impress me. Finally, you have people that mistake being nice to being passive and meek. Passive and meek people tend to turn people off when it comes to selecting a partner. We unconsciously know that we don’t want a partner who is a push over because this means they will have a higher probability of being a coward in moments of peer pressure. Meaning, they will allow others to influence their every move, they will be too cowardly to stand up to temptation and become disloyal to their partner. We must start calling it out for what it is instead of saying “they are too nice” because saying that is too vague for what we truly feel.
"LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS"
Many times, people feel guilty to tell someone they aren’t interested and they want to be less harsh by saying “Let’s just be friends”. Yes, it’s true some people don’t really mean that but some people do. Society has told us time and time again in movies, talks amongst friends and social media that friend zone is a “low blow”. Let’s also not forget that there are many different types of friend zones. For instance, there are people that don’t want to commit but they like the attention you give them so they lead you on and friend zone you each time (which is selfish and wrong). There are others that genuinely want to keep you as a friend and if you don’t let your ego get in the way, it can blossom into a life-changing friendship. Lastly, there are those who just don’t seem to know how to respectfully say that they aren’t interested so they coward out and friendzone you.
SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
Get to really know who you are and what makes you, you! That’s where true confidence is born. DON’T look up one of those dumb “How to seduce the one you want” youtube related videos!!!!! Please don’t! They teach you mind games and how to cover up the problem instead of truly uncovering the issue. If you don’t find your qualities interesting and attractive, who will? You haven’t worked on yourself well enough to realize you are a catch, it’s no wonder you walk around trying to please people and then get disappointed when you get rejected. You are blind to the real issue.
I would love to guide you and uncover what is or isn’t working for you. Submit a message to me to find out how you can get a free session!
Love, Victoria GOLD
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"HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FRIEND ZONE!"
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